Mistakes and perseverance

Who doesnt commit mistakes? Gandhiji said, "To err is human". Still, many a times we get so bogged down, so overwhelmed by these mistakes that we cant get up, wake up, get out of it. The guilt feeling, many a times consumes life of a person itself. What is it about the mistakes that they seem to have such strong hold on human mind? Why shud we feel so bad after committing a mistake? Doesnt the very "feeling-bad" show that we are gud enuff? Gud enuff to repent that we did it? we might be coward to confront it in front of the whole world. but we do know inside that we committed a mistake. We are so scared of our reputation getting soiled. And more than that, we ourselves attach a very negative value to the mistakes we commit. That plays a greater role in getting people depressed. But isnt the same value system that we have given for various deeds reflect our personality - that we are not as bad as we think we are??

Mistakes, when committed in spiritual path, will be termed as a sin. Many a times, we do get deluded and we tend to go away from the path. Even here, people do get depressed. I get frustrated. There are many a times when, even though I know, I am fully aware that I am committing mistakes, I just commit it - I just seem to lack the strength of mind to stop myself from committing it! What is it? What is it that makes me a slave of these "bad", "unnecessary" thots, which I hate(Of course, I realise that I hate it once m outta its grip!)? There are so many worldly thots - how do I turn my mind away from these and gain back the same intensity that I sometimes have towards my Beloved Lord? Why? Again, these thots come when I am "pro-spiritual". When m drowned in the worldly thots, I just seem to be a puppet in the hands of the greedy thots. Why do I behave this way? Guess it is the same case with all the sadhkas, without ne exception. For, if we were not to get distracted, what would be there to achieve? We would b a siddha than a sadhaka. Then, does it really matter? I mean the ans to the just asked "why" - does it really matter? The ans to the Q is obvious - My vasanas in that direction is strong., strong enuff to overwhelm me completely, when once in it. So, the reason will remain the same and I am fully aware of the it all the time. So, its not the reason that is needed at that time - its not needed at all. Its always the same reason in the spiritual path! So, I think what is more important is what I do about it once m done with it, when m outa it. When I am struck in it, it is obvious that I dont seem to be able to do nething about it. So, what matters, I guess is what I do when m out of it.

When a disciple complained to my Beloved Master - Ramana Maharshi that he falls asleep when he starts meditating, The Master said," That is fine. But when you are awake make sure you spend every second think about "It" ". I think this applies to all types of distraction - sleep or worldly thots - whatever is the obstruction, when we get hold of ourselves, we should simply do the needful. Isnt the same being called as perseverance? No matter how many distractions we are caught in, as long as we can bounce back, throwing the burden of our mind getting distracted on our Master, if we are determined to tread in the Path shown by our Master, doesnt it naturally weaken these vasanas, that we want to diminish? So, the mistakes and perseverance are inversely related to one another. As long as perseverance is in place, the mistakes diminish naturally. If we keep thinking about the mistakes/sins that we have committed, when will we have time to think about the Lord? Arent the weak moments spent in drowning enuff? When we are caught up in them we will be drowned in it. When out of the grip, at least, we should think upon the solution than the mistake. So, yes, perseverance is the key! But for perseverance, we should have the Grace of the Lord. Or even if we just throw even this burden to the Lord, wouldnt we be saved? As long as we Love Him from the bottom of our heart, keep throwing our burdens on Him - who can handle/deal with them better than we ourselves can, does the ans to the "why" really matter?