Just felt like writing what m feeling right now, more like a diary thing. Enquiry - its beautiful, enigmatic. Want to be in it just taking it as a challenge - as to how long I can stick to it. Inspiration for doing it all are below two things:
1st -
Talk 596:
...
When the matter is understood intellectually the earnest seeker begins to apply it practically. He argues at every moment, "For whom are these thoughts? Who am I?" and so forth, until he is well-established in the conviction that a Higher Power guides us. That is the frimness of faith. Then all his doubts are cleared and he needs no further instructions.
2nd -
Tripura Rahasya - Ch 19 , Shloka 41-43:
..
Just as a man scalded by fire runs immediately in search of soothing agents does not waste his time in other pursuits, so also must the aspirant run after emancipation to the exclusion of all other oursuits. Such an effort is receded by indifference to all other attainments.
I have realised recently that I will never be able to dedicated some time specifically for sadhana. I will have to imbibe it while I am physically engaged in worldly activities. The way I hope to accomplish this is by saying to Bhagavan "Physical body actions are your responsibilities, upto you how you want it to perform. I will immerse myself in enquiry. Don't disturb me." I am able to hold onto this only for sometime, longer time than how much I could earlier. But I am very confident that I will be able to succeed with this attitude. Something inside me tells me this is the way.
As days pass by, I only realize more that I better realize my true nature ASAP, else I will only end up in misery. Hope to cling on to these "learnings". The world is scaring me. And I dont like to be scared. I dont want to be scared. I hate fear. I realize the only and quickest way out is by enquiring and remembering the two above mentioned quotes. Bhagavan has mentioned enquiry is the shortest cut possible to jnana. Even then how to further quicken it? I guess by whatever He has mentioned in the Talk - to not allow any other thiught to talk hold of the mind. How to accomplish that? Just the way when on fire, we run, the scare that I am having, currently, of being drowned, of being doomed in samsara, will hopefully keep on the earnestness and keep the fire of want of freedom ablaze brightly, so brightly as to destroy everything thats in this forest of the mind.
Bhagavan, Thou art my sole refuge!! Please help!
1st -
Talk 596:
...
When the matter is understood intellectually the earnest seeker begins to apply it practically. He argues at every moment, "For whom are these thoughts? Who am I?" and so forth, until he is well-established in the conviction that a Higher Power guides us. That is the frimness of faith. Then all his doubts are cleared and he needs no further instructions.
2nd -
Tripura Rahasya - Ch 19 , Shloka 41-43:
..
Just as a man scalded by fire runs immediately in search of soothing agents does not waste his time in other pursuits, so also must the aspirant run after emancipation to the exclusion of all other oursuits. Such an effort is receded by indifference to all other attainments.
I have realised recently that I will never be able to dedicated some time specifically for sadhana. I will have to imbibe it while I am physically engaged in worldly activities. The way I hope to accomplish this is by saying to Bhagavan "Physical body actions are your responsibilities, upto you how you want it to perform. I will immerse myself in enquiry. Don't disturb me." I am able to hold onto this only for sometime, longer time than how much I could earlier. But I am very confident that I will be able to succeed with this attitude. Something inside me tells me this is the way.
As days pass by, I only realize more that I better realize my true nature ASAP, else I will only end up in misery. Hope to cling on to these "learnings". The world is scaring me. And I dont like to be scared. I dont want to be scared. I hate fear. I realize the only and quickest way out is by enquiring and remembering the two above mentioned quotes. Bhagavan has mentioned enquiry is the shortest cut possible to jnana. Even then how to further quicken it? I guess by whatever He has mentioned in the Talk - to not allow any other thiught to talk hold of the mind. How to accomplish that? Just the way when on fire, we run, the scare that I am having, currently, of being drowned, of being doomed in samsara, will hopefully keep on the earnestness and keep the fire of want of freedom ablaze brightly, so brightly as to destroy everything thats in this forest of the mind.
Bhagavan, Thou art my sole refuge!! Please help!
2 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing this- am moved to tears by the sincerity & longing. I wish I could have written this at your age! My best wishes for your spiritual journey. Namaskaram!
https://sriaurobindostudies.wordpress.com/2021/06/20/concentration-in-the-heart-centre-to-achieve-the-realisation-of-the-divine-presence-in-the-integral-yoga/
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